What Shall I Call You?

by Kim from Iron Rose

Please do not cut and paste text, although you are certainly welcome to link directly to this URL:
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/what_shall_i_call_you.htm   Feel fee to contact kim@iron-rose.com

There's a myth in the cyber community that the proper way to show respect is to call every dominant "Master" or "Mistress". It is also a myth that every submissive should be called "little one" or an assortment of other diminutive endearments.

To set the record straight, that's not appropriate. There are many dominants who choose titles other than "Master" or "Mistress." Anything from Goddess, Madam, M'Lady, Countess, Ma'am, Sir, Lord, Baron...the list goes on. If you feel compelled to use a term of respect to a dominant, it is appropriate to ask first. There are some, and I am one of them, who do not allow anyone but their own collared submissives to call them "Mistress" or "Master." Call me "Mistress Kim" or "Kim" and we're fine. Call me just "Mistress" and we're going  to have words. I'm not the only one in the world who feels this way.

Another important point...you don't have to give any honorific title. If a dominant demands one, the appropriate response is to laugh. We're all equals here, with brains and ideals and values. When a dominant gets so full of themselves that they insist you refer to them by title, a title you may not feel they've earned, well it's best to move along. Respect and titles are earned, not required. Dominants, like anyone else, can be jerks. Why should you have to show respect to a dork just because they're dominant?

By the same token, calling submissives cute little terms of   endearment may get your face removed. If it's not your sub, and if you haven't asked, don't assume. Subs are people who happen to be submissive. This doesn't mean they've had all their brain cells sucked out and now smile vacantly at anyone who is dominant. It means they're discriminating, choosy people. Dominants don't automatically get the right to call submissives by cutesy names just because they're dominant. Surprise.

To add confusion to all this, did you know that some dominant women are  "Sir" and some submissive women are "boy?" Our TV sisters are "Ma'am," or any other feminine honorific, but not always. That delightful   panty boy may be "girl." Since we don't wear signs, except for some of those great T-shirts you see every now and again, it's always safest to ask. It keeps everyone comfortable, and saves you a red face.

Please do not cut and paste text, although you are certainly welcome to link directly to this URL:
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/what_shall_i_call_you.htm   Feel fee to contact kim@iron-rose.com

April 10, 2000