Slaves vs. Submissives

Please do not cut and paste text, although you are certainly welcome to link directly to this URL:
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/slavevssub.htm   Feel fee to contact kim@iron-rose.com

In an email group Kim belongs to, the question was raised about the differences in slaves versus submissives.  Here, in all it's unedited glory, is her response.  Keep in mind, it is not the definitive answer.  Just her thoughts in the moment.

I prefer owning slaves. The primary difference for me is that there is less ongoing negotiation with slaves. With both I have them fill out the BDSM questionnaire. I require this for anyone who plays or works with me. (play versus work is a philosophy I'd be glad to expound upon another time) With both, I also maintain safewords. When I own a submissive, we chart their progress more thoroughly. We review their questionnaire more often. We update it and keep track of how they're coming along with things they've tried, how they now feel about activities, etc. We have extensive downtime where we speak as equals when I own a submissive. This includes feedback and thoughts about how a scene went, what we'd like to do differently in the future. I find that when I own submissives it's little pockets of BDSM and power exchange. 

Owning slaves, for me, means that they have less input once the initial negotiations are done. I may or may not choose to allow them to have input as to where we go next. We renegotiate when I feel it's necessary, but it's much less often and more rare than with a submissive. We review our relationship a minimum of annually, on our collaring anniversary, where with a submissive I review a minimum of quarterly. I'm way too organized. <grin>  When I own a slave I control their finances. Not so with a submissive. When I own a slave they get an allowance. They are required to invest a certain amount of money. They may not spend above a set limit without my approval on a single purchase, even on a credit card. Typically this is $50. They get a holiday stipend, and cannot spend over it for the holidays. I have had house slaves where I financially supported them. In this case, they are receiving their money directly from me. I have also had live in slaves where they held down a job, and we set up automatic deductions into savings plans, holiday clubs so the funds would be there at the appropriate time, etc. My financial control is negotiated up front, of course, but I have never owned a slave where it was not in place. My financial orders are always to increase the net worth of my slave, and I don't demand money from them in any way, shape, or form.

If I am the breadwinner, however, and they do not hold down a job, they are expected to work even more around the house to earn their keep. Slaves do more servitude in my ownership. Interestingly enough, I am also more likely to bestow sexual favors upon a slave versus a submissive. As I have access to their finances, so do they have access to my finances in case of emergency.  When I own a slave, I will pay medical bills, emergency car tows, provide them with a car itself, and more. I expect a submissive to be financially self-sufficient. I have never owned a submissive that lived in my household.  Only slaves have lived as a part of my extended family in my household. Slaves get included in family vacations. Often at no expense to them. Not so submissives.

For slaves I have had legal papers drawn up so that I can be considered "family" in the case of a medical emergency for a slave. Not so for a submissive. Of course, a slave doesn't grovel and scrape and bow 24 hours a day either. I would estimate that interactions with a slave, 80% of the time, appear equal to equal. However, at any moment I can exert my will on a slave and I expect no argument or even a squeak of protest. I wouldn't expect, for example, to silence a submissive if we were at a vanilla party. And yet, I do it to a slave. My key phrase in public for a slave is "behave." If I say that, no matter what's going on, they are to go silent. One of the greatest compliments I ever received for a former slave was from a vanilla friend. At a party this slave was telling a story that I felt was going in a direction the other party members would not appreciate. I said, very quietly, "behave," and changed the subject. My vanilla friend later told the story to others..."You'd have thought she cut his tongue right out of his head!"

Slaves are expected to take care of the house without compliment or notice. Just as I go to work without compliment or notice. I expect the house spotless, I expect it to be without concern when I walk in the door. Slaves take care of things like repairs without me getting involved. Example, if a window cracks (RL thing, it did) the slave will take the money out of the household fund and just get it fixed without getting me involved. I'm sure there's more, but writing this note has taken up most the morning as I putter about, and then come back and write some more so I'll close for now!

Kim

Please do not cut and paste text, although you are certainly welcome to link directly to this URL:
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/slavevssub.htm   Feel fee to contact kim@iron-rose.com