MistressKim says: For those of you who are newer...a tiny bit of history. Every September we get swamped with newbies. It's the college freshman crowd. The problem is...we get SO many newbies it frustrates the regulars. Last year it was so bad our regulars started to bail ship. So we had a focus group with random users. Got them all in a room and we brainstormed. *I* had no idea what to do to slow the growth. Growing pains are natural but this was out of control. Those users came up with the idea to have the New User Orientations (NUOs) and it's been in place ever since. It slows the growth, which we want. [Editor's note, it has come in, and out of favor with our membership over the years.]  We focus on quality, not quantity.

MistressKim says: We have even more against us this year. We've been averaging 40+ users a night this summer. And that's our SLOW time!  We work hard to maintain our culture, and everyone needs to be on the same page to keep it from going away.

MistressKim says: As you know, in cyber one week is like a month. A LOT of damage can be done in a VERY brief amount of time. So we have to be on our toes. In any environment it's hard to balance new blood versus stagnation. We do it by asking people not to mass post our address anywhere... to whisper quietly our address only to quality folks... and by our request that you do not discuss Iron Rose in public rooms at other talkers. Of course, talking about us in public rooms at other talkers is just fucking rude. But that's besides the point. If you're there, then while you're THERE they are the greatest. I'd prefer we had a reputation for being courteous folks. By the same token, don't come into the lair and talk about other talkers. That's rude. And NEVER talk about another talker by name! That's JUST what I need is another talker getting into a war with us because "the people at IR say". SHEEESH! So we ask that you don't come talk about other talkers in the public rooms. But...we DO encourage you to post addresses of other talkers on the lair board so we can all go check 'em out! Diversity is the spice of life! So a few things I wanted to emphasize that seem to get lost in the shuffle along  the way over time.

MistressKim says: First of all, in our book, bigger is NOT better. We would rather have 10 great users than the HNG's [editor's note: HNG = Horny Net Geek] running over the place. I swear I will nuke and ban til the cows come home to keep HNG's out. But we don't know who they are if you don't report them. The people who ask you over and over and over and over and over "will you dom me?" or "will you sub to me"...they're out of line.

MistressKim says: One "No thank you" is all it takes here. If they ask again point them to .show rules #2.  If they don't get it THEN report it. That's not for a limited time. If they come back the next hour, the next day, the next week and bug you yet AGAIN tell them you're reporting them immediately.

MistressKim says: Blatant requests for net.sex report. Someone who sends you an inappropriate sexual .tell from another room is cause for raising a stink.  We're going to get clueless newbies who are rude. STAND UP for each other! One person saying "you're out of line" in the lair, or the pearl, doesn't get noticed. 10 people shouting "get out" now THAT gets noticed. You're a community, make it count! If you SEE it happen, report it. If it happens to you, report it. We want to weed out the problems  QUICK before they wear our good users out. 

MistressKim says: Things that aren't tolerated that you should know about, and might not...

MistressKim says: People saying they're drunk or logging on here drunk. Immediate boot out the door. We're SS&C, and in my mind that's not drunk. There are a million other talkers, go there and make a fool of yourself when you're drunk.

MistressKim says: People who threaten, talk, or hint at suicide. I have zero tolerance. People who do that in cyber have one of two agendas... Either they are playing with your head, in which case we don't want 'em, or they are serious, in which case we OWE it to them to get them OFFLINE and stop feeding their fantasy life so they can get RL help. We cannot be psychotherapists online.  So, if you're hearing the "suicide" talk, report it. 2 week arrest, minimum for talk about  suicide. I am not amused.

MistressKim says: I respect the Gorean philosophy, although I am not Gorean. However, at IR we will NOT have someone else's kink forced on us. Therefore, did you know that you can report someone for harassment if they insist on calling you an honorific? and we WILL arrest them? By the same token, subs, if a dominant calls you "little one" or other things without your 
consent, you can file harassment. I'm not saying you shouldn't ask nicely first. But if they don't listen...or if they think it's funny...tell them you'll report it.

MistressKim says: We won't tolerate any form of harassment here. Which is why we have the .set igall and the .set igtell commands. But did you know that it is against IR policy for me to create an alias to talk to you if you've got me on your ig list? I *will* be arrested if I pull that stunt to get around the coding? We arrest for breaking the spirit of the law, not just the technical abilities. Not only that, but if you have to resort to putting someone on your ig  list...REPORT IT! Chances are, it's a personality conflict and those things happen. That's cool.But maybe...just maybe...30 other people are having the exact same problem! In which case we want to nuke the problem and just make all our lives a little easier. Once we get 3-5 complaints, we really sit up and take notice!

MistressKim says: I will close the doors to new users if I have to to slow the growth explosion and require email requests for new names. I would rather NOT...but if you're getting frustrated with the newbies in Hell Month (September) please say so and we'll try to come up with something.  I may grab 20 or so random users and we'll all brainstorm again THIS year. You guys are the ones who come up with the great ideas.

MistressKim says: We're going to be hurting for help. Any assistance you can offer newbies in the entrance when they log in will be greatly appreciated. All you have to do is .read the board, help them set up their settings, and get them the out of entrance. Entrance is not for hanging out. That's distracting to work when the newbie walks through the door.

MistressKim says: We .rev frequently in Entrance. When we find you helping someone in a .rev we .reward you 10 credits. Did you know that??? But if you see someone ELSE busting their butt helping a newbie, please take the time to .smail one of us and compliment them so we can reward them. Again, we're all a community. It used to be that whoever was free would say "I got 
it" in the lair and go help so we didn't have a massive rush towards the entrance, and the first one to say it went. If y'all want to reinstitute that standard, great.

MistressKim says: Our DM's meet really horrible guidelines. They are REQUIRED to work a MINIMUM of 2 hours per day here. That means in a public room. Work. Not off in a private room necking with their sweetie. That's hard to find. It's especially hard to find someone who doesn't burn out really quick. To help with that, we've also got 30 day DM's.

MistressKim says: We ask people to help for 30 days (don't offer) One of the best compliments I get is when we ask someone to be a 30 day and they say "why me? you've never talked to me?" It's because we don't go for the tushie kissers. We go for the people we see WORKING. We aren't stupid you know. We do know the difference.

MistressKim says: We also have something called babysitters. The title stinks, but that's how it feels. When all the DM's are bailing, we can make someone(s) babysitters. That means you have DM privs until you log out or lag out. It's not for long, but in the case when we have tons of people online, and new  people in particular (that unknown quantity where there is more likely to 
be trouble) we like to leave SOMEONE in charge.

ali nods. How do you report someone?
MistressKim says to ali: just do .dm, and ask any DM who's online if you can file a complaint. Or .smail anyone listed in .show DM (except Ketzer, the silly coder of ours)

Red asks: Do you have a preferred place to direct the newbies to?
MistressKim says to Red: We prefer Black_Pearl.

MistressKim says: To sign up for the newsletter, go to www.iron-rose.com, and click to sign up the the email list. If you sign up for the store newsletter you will also be notified of monthly sales and offers. If you didn't know...you may be entitled to DISCOUNTS at the IR store. That's the whole reason we started it. See .show store sometime.

I had a user recently approach me with concern over a group of people they saw signing up for IR. Apparently this group of users had been trouble elsewhere. I *really* appreciated that input! So far no trouble, but I have my eyes peeled. If you see someone, or a group rushing the talker  en masse, please let someone know if they've been trouble elsewhere. We won't eliminate them for  something they did elsewhere... they have to break rules here. I mean, we can't police the world. But, we can  be aware and that helps eliminate a lot of fumbling.

MistressKim says: For the record, IR will be having it's annual Nuke The Jerks Day soon. For those of you who have never been here for it... it's the day we take the small  percentage of the talker population that causes us the most grief...the people we get the most  complaints about but they NEVER quite cross that line... and generally people who are rude,  obnoxious, but always skirt the rules and stay just inside. Well... We nuke them! Once a year we decide enough is enough, and we purge the dorks. [Editor's Note:  Iron Rose still has an annual Nuke the Jerks Day]

She says: i have found nothing but polite people here mistresskim...far more so than any other cyber type place ive been.

Arhiani asks: What about established SSC users bothering you?
MistressKim says to Arhiani: good question. Thank you. Just because people are established does  NOT mean they don't mess  up. Everyone has a temper, everyone makes mistakes. And some of our BEST users have been arrested at one time or another. Honest. Either something happened in their life (death of a partner, parent, divorce, whatever) and they go off the deep end a bit or it's just one of those rotten times in their life and they snap...and they happen to be here when they do. Everyone messes up. We *DO* arrest regulars. As a matter of fact, a small percentage of our Charter and Founding members are permanently banned.

MistressKim says: Faked death. Don't ever let me catch you faking a death. I ban you forever.  I hate that cyber game.

tawny asks: faking a death?

MistressKim says to tawny: it's when someone logs on as an alias and announces that poor dear MK died the other night... and I am perfect alive and well, and *I* am the person announcing my own dearly departed self. Happens all too often. I think it's sick.

tawny says: oh goddess that is sick

MistressKim says: attention-getting device. Happyland is our sick perverted idea of Jail. If you'd  like you can visit it later.

MistressKim says: Underage users... If you are underage, if you have brought someone HERE who is underage, or if you KNOW of someone who is underage and do not REPORT them... when I find out,  the underage user is banned, the person who BROUGHT them here is banned, and anyone who kept the secret is banned. Permanently. Period. No exceptions. Ever.

Arhiani asks: do you consider of age to be 18 or 21?
MistressKim says to Arhiani: I consider it to be 18 since that's legal for CT, but we ask that people be "of legal age in their community".

Red asks: Where is "home" for this talker... I see Talker X has new restrictions re  names etc... any worries here?
MistressKim says to Red: New Haven, Connecticut.

Lincoln asks: ??? How long do inactive members keep membership?
MistressKim says to Lincoln: 90 days.

MistressKim asks: Does everyone know the multiple alias policy? We DO have one at IR, and you CAN have more than one name. The rule is...you can have more than one name as long as you don't use the alias for mind-games. Let me explain. If I create an alias and go around asking people "What do you think of MK" I'm getting arrested. If I create aliases, pretending to be 
monogamous with 200 people, playing with all their heads as "different people" I'm getting arrested. Many gentleman here have one "het" name and one "gay" or "bi" name. I don't know  why...but it's a sensitive issue. Also many male switches (in particular) have a dominant name and a sub name. Provided they're not playing the monogamous game with lots of people, I don't  care.

Lincoln asks: ??? How do you know who is someone else?
MistressKim says: We find out because people ALWAYS trip themselves up.

MistressKim says: When we find out...I take every alias from the site and post it on the lair board.
Caitlyn nodsnods, I remember you doing it

MistressKim says: I have a sub alias. I'm very open about that.
lavicka asks: you do?
MistressKim says: She goes into the lair and flirts shamelessly and no one EVER hits on me.
MistressJulee grins at MK
lavicka si shocked
Prophet hmmm's
Cheyain wonders what that alias is?
Lincoln wonders who she is
MistressKim says: I've always said if anyone EVER seduces my sub name into a room I'll tell them it's me and give them the scene of their life. But no one's ever interested in me. <grin>
Cheyain exclaims: just so I don't get my ass in trouble!
Kilroy says: hmmmmmmm
Lincoln laughs hard
Vee giggles
Prophet si never there when the fun stuff happens
Kerr says: They're all afraid.
MistressKim says: Flirting in public is cool.
lavicka says: hmmmmm
Kerr grins
Axis needs to be around more.
redkitty giggles ... cool
Arhiani says: Just watch for the sub typing megawords a min...it's MK
MistressKim says: If I went into a private room with someone I feel I ethically owe it to them  to tell them I'm MK. Otherwise that feels like a mind game.
lavicka giggles
MistressKim says to Arhiani: I hide it. I type slow.
jaipur kneels next to Kilroy
Voltaire chuckles.
lavicka didnt know you could type slow :)

MistressKim says: anyway, I have posted all the nicks on the lair board. Very embarrassing.

ali asks: Can someone with two aliases be logged on with them both at the same time?
MistressKim says to ali: Yes. Technically, yes, that's possible with a telnet program.

lavicka has done that.. confusing as hell
MistressKim says: oh yes. it's too messy.  Although I had fun doing it at the IF Ball. <grin>
Tamara wonders if that is where Durg paddled MK
MistressKim says to Tamara: yes.
lavicka says: god, that was funny :)
Hemmingway has seen it happen
lavicka says: speaking of which... lavicka grins :)
Cheyain admits to having multi'ed more than once.
Jim has enough trouble <.t>ing two different people

MistressKim says: I am VERY distressed about the decline in our sub culture. I mentioned this at the afternoon group too. Our subs are, in my opinion, one of our most valuable assets.

lavicka grins
MistressJulee nods...agreeing

MistressKim says: And it used to be subs would take new subs under their wings, warn them about jerks, etc.

Rebecca nods

MistressKim says: Now it breaks my HEART to see newbie subs getting sucked in by the RDDs [editor's note: RDD is an insult, which stands for Revolving Door Dominant] I really  wish the subs would band together again more.

Voltaire asks: What's an RDD?
Rebecca says: Revolving door doms.
MistressKim says: The worst insult I give a dominant. sub goes in, sub comes out, in out in out in out. No respect for what a collar means, for the care of a sub...just grabbing 'em to have 'em.

lavicka asks: what about the ones who just dont care? the subs that feel they HAVE to have that collar, even if they know its just for show?
Tamara says: ACKs at that idea
MistressKim says to lavicka: I can't be their psychotherapist and give them self esteem. I gave that job up long ago.
Prophet says: send em to some talker where people are that easy to impress
MistressKim says: I can only educate...not heal wounded birds.
Carlynne grees with Tamara
Lincoln says: They're the unluckiest of all. Everything for public, and nothing inside. :(
Rebecca nods.
lavicka smiles.. ive dealt with those though... they insist they know what theyre doing and you  just watch them get set up... its sickening

MistressKim says: ok...if someone pushes you to get RL info out of you, report them. If someone pushes you to get INTO your RL report them. Not asks. There's polite asking and then there are the jerks who push, ya know?
Rebecca nods.
Shasha nods
Whiskers nods
lavicka knows oh too well
MistressKim says: people who push for RL are scary. Don't let 'em and even if you're strong enough to stand up for yourself, report them so we can keep an eye out.
Lincoln says: "If you REALLY loved me the way you SAY you do, you'd let me play with you when I visit."
Cheyain nods

Arhiani asks: ?? Would disrespect shown toward a collar or your Master/Mistress or your sub be 
reportable?
MistressKim says to Arhiani: If it's intentional disrespect yes. But you gotta know some people ARE ignorant since we're about education and information. Report it, we'll talk to the person, and if it's repeated then I guess it was intentional.
Arhiani exclaims: trust me I *know* all about ignorant!

Rebecca says: I think in many ways it is like harrassment at work. First let them know what they are doing is not welcome...if they don't get the idea, report it. But don't be shy about reporting it. I learned the hard way that "being nice" will just get others hurt as well.

lavicka asks: what about the newbies who latch on? you help them and they feel like they just have to be with you no matter what you say...
MistressKim says: well then you need to gently disengage and tell them you need time off with other friends sometimes. Try gentle and nice...and if not get stronger. But I'm not  arresting someone because we don't have the guts to say "not now" MistressKim winks
lavicka grins
tawny giggles
MistressJulee smiles

MistressKim asks: Does everyone know the Betting Game in the Lair?
lavicka giggles and does now :)
Kilroy grins
Kerr laughs
MistressJulee does not.
alexis shakes her head.
Voltaire has never heard of it.
tawny doesn't
MistressKim says: this is how it works.
Vee looks blank
lavicka says: i love this
Kayleen says: no
MistressKim says: When someone is a real jerk...one person starts. Usually a newbie who is  obviously just here to cause trouble.

Lincoln exclaims: Oh! Lincoln saw this but didn't understand!
Caitlyn grins

MistressKim says: One person "tosses a 20 into the pot" Now the RULE is you can NEVER say who the bet is ABOUT out loud! Either you followed it, or you have to ask people in .tells
Kayleen giggles
MistressKim says: As you bet your $20 you say how long you think it will be until they get their butt arrested or nuked. Someone keeps track. The person who wins gets .paid by each person who bet 20 credits (it's an honor system, the person who kept track .smails everyone who played) It's kinda fun. But Lizzy always wins.

Caitlyn nodsnods
lavicka giggles
MistressJulee lol
Carlynne grins
Caitlyn says: I swear she has ESP
Lincoln smiles
MistressKim says: or she knows me better than I know me.
Tamara giggles
Kerr says: She must fix it somehow..
Caitlyn looks at MK, hmmm, could be
lavicka thinks she must antagonize the newbies :)

ali asks: ?? But if no one says the person's name out loud how does everyone know they're discussing the same person?
MistressKim says to ali: usually it happens like...oh...right after someone creates a REAL stir.  Like you know those days when someone's in entrance hitting on EVERY woman with .tells 
ali nods. Gotcha.
lavicka nods
MistressKim asks: and finally someone says..."am I the ONLY one getting hit on with .tells?"
lavicka laughs.. that hasnt happened in a long time
lavicka grins and claps
Cheyain giggles

MistressKim asks: and does everyone know the cracker command?
Rebecca smiles. I love that one.
Cheyain learned earlier
Jim exclaims: Nope!
MistressJulee says: no
Carlynne says: no
alexis says: no..
redkitty says: no
Lincoln shakes his head
Tamara shakes her head nope
razor says: not here..

MistressKim says: Try going into the entrance someone and emote... ; holds up a cracker. The gryphon grabs you and tosses you into the lair

alexis smiles
Hemmingway smiles

MistressKim exclaims: and then WE all hold up olympic rating signs telling you how good your fall was! Just don't do it ad nauseum. It gets old.
Prophet still thinks we need a .score command in the lair
redkitty says: heheh
MistressKim says: it's fun every once in a while.
Tamara says: ooooh yeah Tamara likes that one
Lincoln exclaims: Oh! I've dne that.

Chooser says: more of a comment really ... keyed by lavicka's question on clingy new one ... we are a community .. and need to work together .. support each other
lavicka listens
Chooser says: if one has a problem .. others can and should help
MistressKim says to Chooser: yes we do. and we also deserve our time with our old friends, away  from someone who might be a little afraid to venture out to make any more new friends. I hope you're right and everyone will pitch in to help.
lavicka says: i just mean.. ive had guys.. especially subs... that ive helped in the entrance.. from that point on, they act like they have to sub to me.. and im not even a domme. it gets annoying.i dont mind helping

MistressKim says: especially for the new users who are ignorant, but REALLY good people. We're not talking about the jerks. Wannabe means "pretending to have more knowledge than you do". Wannabe does NOT mean "without information." People just starting are not wannabes. They're just new. <shrug> Everyone starts somewhere.
Jim remembers when he was NEW :)

Vee asks: can we see Happyland (jail)? Vee is curious about it
MistressKim says: yes. Any other questions, feel free...
Squire chuckles...whre is Bubba?
MistressKim exclaims: for anyone who wants to see happyland listen up!
Cheyain giggles
redkitty listens
lavicka asks: you goin again, squire? LOL
MistressKim says: I'm going to .move you there if you say you want to go. To get out just .go to 
any other room. Ok, speak now if you want to go! [editor's note: tour of Happyland follows]

lavicka says: its stuck in there... that damn nasty 70s music.. ewwwww
ali exclaims: It's HORRIBLE there! No .t or posts!
Rebecca sings Muskrat Love
MistressKim says to ali: it's not SUPPOSED to be fun!
Prophet says: you can't even talk to yoursel f there
Chooser whispers to lavicka "they're coming to take me awak .. to the funny farm ..."
ali grins Yeah, but I thought it would be cool or something there.
alexis kneels next to Macros.
lavicka says: oh, i like that song :)
Vee giggles again
Tamara says: hehehehhahahahah
Cheyain giggles at Choosers choice of song and has heard that one lately again.
Rebecca says: They use to play Muskrat Love at the skating rink.
MistressKim asks: ok, any last minute questions? things you've always wanted to know?

Rebecca asks: What's your sub alias?
Cheyain wants to know the same thing.
Prophet wants to know that alias!!!!!!

MistressKim says: I'm not telling. But I sub once a year on Halloween regardless. Last year NO  ONE WOULD! I was crushed.
Vee laughs
Domaris giggles.
lavicka says: and halloweens gettin close again too :)
Kilroy will be here Halloween
Jim likes a challenge

MistressKim says: oh...and if I haven't met you yet...Hi I'm MK. I try really hard to meet  everyone, but if I haven't...feel free to stop me and talk sometime!