Anal and Dildo Play
with Mistress Kali Ward
August 24, 2000

Samantha jumps up on stage. "Welcome everyone! Tonight we have Mistress Kali Ward from PEP Buffalo as our speaker! PEP stands for People Exchanging Power. It is a national organization of Dominant and Submissive ladies located across the US and Canada. Mistress Kali is here locally in Buffalo, NY and has also started the PEP Buffalo chapter." Samantha helps Hop-A-Long up on the stage. Samantha jumps down

MistressKali smiles. "Thank you for asking me to come back! I have something to tell you first. I broke my foot recently and so I decided to have Samantha
come over and type this discussion in for me. (waits for them to think about this) The truth is, Sam is here because she IS typing for me. But for those of you who want to know why my broken foot has anything to do with Sam's typing ...well...it’s just because "I SAID SO."

MistressKali says: Okay.. let’s get started. Some of the following stories are really funny, but they are all true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. The innocent, and the naive. Some of you might have done a few of these things, so from the privacy of your own computers, feel free to laugh along with the rest of us. Also, feel free to change some of your present habits. Most of all, let’s learn and have fun as well!

MistressKali says: Also, I would like to add that this discussion is not based on anal play only. For the submissive women out there - learn how to protect yourselves with penetration. WOW, I just had a nasty thought about how I LOVE double penetration for female submissives! Wanna See Sam?)

Samantha ahems and blushes

MistressKali says: The Disappearing Condom Story. It was 2:00 am and the phone rang. Mistress Lisa was hysterical. Her slave in the background was jumping up and down. What was I doing? Well, I was laughing my ass off. She told me how the condom covered buttplug went in ... and came out leaving the condom behind. Deeply embedded within the darkness of his body. OMG.. I still laugh when I think about this today! The submissive said, "Sure, Mistresss Kali thinks its funny! She is laughing about the humiliation I will feel when I go to the emergency room and explain why I have a condom stuck up my ass!" Once I calmed them down I told her to send him into the bathroom with a glycerin suppository
What goes in must come out. Harmlessly. Buttplugs do not have the proper shape for condoms.

MistressKali says: The Ooooohhh it Burns So Bad Story. A very well known Mistress told me once that she soaks her dildos in chlorine bleach! OUCH is all I can say. When I told her that rubber would absorb the bleach She said: Oh! Maybe THAT is why he has been burning lately!. So avoid the four B's:
Buttplug
Bleach
Burn
Bad
Got it?

MistressKali says: The Red Neck from Georgia Story. "Mistress, I've had this dildo for fourteen years!" And I said, "Then throw it the F&*$ out!"

MistressKali says: Or... The Old Read the Label Story. If it says topical use, if it says external use, ONLY, then why are you dipping dildos in Vicks vapor rub?

MistressKali says: To Lube, or Not to Lube. That is the question. Please watch for labels that read "Not recommended with use of condoms." Some lubes will eat up the condom and reduce protection. Also, please check and ask about allergic reactions that your partner may have. Once I saw a sub's face blow up like a blowfish! Including the red scaly skin.

MistressKali says: SIZE... Have you seen the pictures of Sir Hugo??? Hugo is a huge dildo, hence his name. Not recommended for novice men or women. Do you understand the concept of "The Wishbone effect?" If I used Hugo on Samantha without proper training. .. the end result would be...
Samantha Left
and Samantha Right
The wishbone effect. OMG! 2 SAMANTHA's??? Could we handle this? Neither one of them would be a good toy either. My motto: do not break your toys boys/girls.. you cannot play with broken toys any more. Or you could own your very own dildo family. For instance, Hugo has little brothers: Their names are Lance, Buz, and Harry. Harry has a tail for pony/puppy play.

MistressKali says: SAFETY: TOP issue! Dildos Are Like Toothbrushes. That is the title of an article I wrote two years ago that was published in three national magazines. The concept... if you take care of one slut hole, your mouth, then you must take care of the others as well. Toothbrushes... well, you wouldn't keep one of those for 14 years would you? No, but 6 months is long enough for a dildos life expectancy. They are not that expensive and are not more important than your health. So, throw them out regularly and replace them. GOOD Excuse to buy a bigger and better one!

MistressKali says: CONDOMS... Important too. DO NOT tell me that it is for your own personal use and dismiss this part of the lecture. Personal use does NOT matter. A dildo is made of soft rubber. Rubber absorbs body fluids. This means that the dildo will absorb these fluids and stay there. Germs and infection can grow and then what? Do you want to explain a strange infection to YOUR doctor? COVER ALL DILDOS WITH CONDOMS.. ALWAYS ALWAYS. You and your safety is so important. Remove the condoms and wash with warm water and mild soap. I don't have to remind you about the bleach, right?

MistressKali says: Remember the disappearing condom story on the buttplug? The reason I brought this one up is to prove a better point. Buttplugs are definitely a toy "to be selfish with." Get it? NO SHARING!

samm asks: Any particular condom is stronger and less likely to break?
MistressKali says: I find this to be completely up to the person and their personal needs.

Dave asks: how would you use protection with anal beads?
MistressKali exclaims: The beads go in a condom! The sphincter muscle will tighten in the same luscious way with or without the condom. So why not use the condom?
Dave asks: wouldnt take away from the effect?
MistressKali says: It will not take away from the effect. The sphincter is a muscle. I believe this muscle can be trained anyway I want it to be! MistressKali grins evilly.

Kim asks: Do you also recommend a covering for the "personal vibrators" that are marketed for the "back" because they have the porous material at the head?
Aurora exclaims: !
MistressKali says: Absolutely, Kim, I feel that any form of barrier between me and my toys is as important as the barrier between my submissive and my toys. That means that protecting them will be to cover it for a long period of use or be prepared to throw it out without that kind of protection.

Aurora says: the drug store has a product called finger cots they come in packs of 25 and are designed to cover a cut finger....look like tiny condoms....i use those on a small vibe. Also good for finger probing....easily removed too.

MistressKali says: Good. The national organization for leather alliance to AIDS
Alliance includes those items in their sample kits. Yes. I endorse them completely.

MistressKali exclaims: On to the messy part! Wrinkle your nose if you want to, but PLEASE stay with me on this one for a moment. Enemas YUP! An enema an be a wonderful tool for an enjoyable anal scene. First, look at the enema as preparing yourself, or a form of "foreplay." A high percentage of those that enjoy anal stimulation or humiliation love the stimulation from a scene related enema. I love to use an enema bag that doubles as a douche bag. Inserting the douche nozzle is a kinky excitement that I really enjoy. These can be purchased at any drugstore in 2/4 quart size for approx. $15.00. Many disposable douche products are too soapy and can sting badly. Messy scenes can be embarrassing to both the Dom/me and Sub, so why not prepare? And next, I would like to appeal to your logic. If you are dirty, then you are going to experience approximately
60-70% stimulation. If you are clean, 100% stimulation. So I ask you, Do you want 100% stimulation? I am sure you do.

MistressKali says: Nancy Ava Miller, founder of PEP National has a wonderful detailed article on enema use and ingredients that I will offer to post at a later date if anyone would like me to. [Editor’s Note: We eagerly accepted.] Some of her details are amazing!

MistressKali says: And then there is the kinky kitchen. That’s when the condoms can be stuffed with the veggie of the week! One of my favorites is Brussel Sprouts! One in the condom, then two, then three, and so on. Now THIS Is how to play with your veggies! Any Ideas, comments, or questions?

Kim flutters her lashes. Would those be frozen brussel sprouts?

MistressKali exclaims: That is a version I will now try!
Raven winces
Selaria grins
Samantha laughs
Samantha says: oh boy
Dmaster grins
Samantha asks: any other questions, comments?
Kim says: I actually do have a serious question.

rogue says: could be worse try ice cubes
MistressKali says: Actually, Ice cubes eventually numb the skin. Snd you can't feel it.

Kim asks: What advice, if any, do you a have for how the new cyberskins vary in the need of care from other dildos...and any thoughts on the acrylics?

MistressKali says: I have faith in a sterile, clean product that opens for the first time when I use it. That statement in itself makes me feel that it can possibly be safer and cleaner than any other material. Especially if this other material continually is part of penetration. You might begin to think that I own stock in a condom factory. But all I know is there is no such thing as having too much money, too much fun, or being too safe.

Kim says: The cyberskins, I hear, tear readily. Enough so that they’re being covered even when they're used for packing. I like the acrylics. I think they look hot, and they don't tear. <grin>

MistressKali says: The acrylics are a very enticing product and I have two to prove it. So we agree again, Kim.

Kim says: Cyberskins are the latest dildo material. They're expensive, and very lifelike in texture. There are some you can even fill with water, and heat in the microwave (I'm not making this up). I haven’t bought one myself yet, but I'm curious.

Raven asks: How frequently can an enema be given or taken safely?

MistressKali says: In the article up and coming from Nancy Ava Miller, you will read that she enjoys an enema on a daily basis. However, she will also tell you that this is one of those things that one should gauge to their own health. I always believe that too much of anything isn't good

AleyKat asks: Are cyberskins being sold in the IR store?
Kim says: Yes. If you don't find what you want, contact me privately. There is a TON of stuff I can get that I don't have room for in the store.
MistressKali exclaims: Oh, I missed them on my SHOPPING LIST then!

rogue asks: I’ve read stories that mention uses some type of soap solution, what is this?
MistressKali says: In Nancy's article, it will outline our favorite soaps and the PROPER amounts to be used.

Selaria asks: is there any added benefit in using a suppository vs. a douche? Or
is it just a personal preference or what?

MistressKali says: A suppository does half the job

Raven asks: What do you recommend for use as a lubricant for penetration toys such as plugs? I know some are incompatible with condoms.

MistressKali asks: I really don't like to endorse products, but I can tell you what I use. WET. It is a product that comes in a stand up container with a pushdown nozzle. I like this style also, because the toy and the lubricant tube never come in contact with each other.

Kim coughs. "In the 64 ounce barrel it does."
Selaria grins
MistressKali laughs
MistressKali exclaims: but, KIM! I LOVE Dildo Play! And, if I'm not mistaken, The Iron Rose Store sells WET.

rogue says: Umm this is a a question about fingernails. How do you prepare them, other the cutting them? My top cuts his but they can still feel sharp

Kim mentions that hangnails can cause problems too, not just the nails.

MistressKali says: If he has a sharp fingernail I will recommend the finger condoms we discussed earlier. Any hangnail or cut on his finger can also cause infection. PLEASE UNDERSTAND.. I am not talking about diseases with your private partner. I am talking about the possibility of an infection.

Karita says: I wanted to contribute to the question on good lubricants for
use with condoms. WET works well and has nonoxyl-9 (spermacide)... but for toys, Astroglide is also very good, and safe for condoms. Astroglide doesn't have nonoxyl-9, though, so not so good for normal sex!

MistressKali says: This is the area of personal preference I spoke about earlier. I also believe Astroglide to be a good product. MistressKali smiles. I'm sure Kim carries Astroglide as well on the store.

Kim mentions that a recent study stated that 50% more women who use nonoxyl-9 develop AIDS. If I recall, it is a preliminary study, but something to note.

Lavicka asks: what can you use other than nonoxyl-9? I’m allergic to it
MistressKali says: Please be honest with your personal doctor and ask his/her advice.
Lavicka nods
Flint has always been a big fan of KY
rogue reads the contents of K-Y
MistressKali exclaims: I have enjoyed this again this evening! This is a fun group, here and in person.

Kim exclaims: I'd like to thank Mistress Kali for her time tonight, and thank her for being a trooper to show up with a broken foot! Kim claps! Excellent discussion! Thank you for coming back!
Raven says: Thank You MistressKali
Katherine claps and whistles
rogue says: thank you MistressKali
Karita applauds and cheers
Dmaster claps
Selaria smiles and nods, thanks!
Samantha claps, yells, whoops and hollars!
Flint claps
Raven applauds loudly
Caitlyn smiles. thank you.
Stormy says: thank you MistressKali
rogue me stomps his foot along with the clapping
Kim does the Vanna thing and says "And to Samantha, the lovely typist for the
evening."
Kerr claps :)
Domaris claps!
Samantha exclaims: Mistress Kali promised me that she is going to show me something kinky with these crutches!
Kerr says: Eek.
Samantha RUNS down to the dungeon.